How long should a counseling session be ?

The Integrative Counseling Program is appreciated by numerous clients for offering extended sessions - or multiple sessions back-to-back - as often as needed or desired.

Why is that ?

Let me explain:

Most people in our culture are subject to a time-pressure. There is a race going on all the time. Our culture is a rushed culture. One can hardly turn on the radio or TV in the morning before some commercial comes on blasting us to rush to order this or that TODAY or NOW. And some sort of money-saving incentive will then be offered to reward the consumer for adding rush to the new day. This constant time-pressure has gone on so long that it has become deeply ingrained in our nervous system. And probably to a much larger extent than most of us have time to realize in our daily rush. It even becomes addictive. So many people don’t ever take a vacation because they don’t know how to. Likewise many people don’t know how to rest without using tranquilizers, alcohol, etc. which only adds more (chemical) stress on the body. Needless to say that this time-stress is very detrimental to physical, mental and spiritual health. It is very difficult, if possible at all, for the person to keep his heart open, when in a rush. And an open receptive heart is in most cases a pre-requisite for any healing to take place at all.

My clients often show the effects of this rushed mind-set when they come to the counseling session.

They are often worried that they will take too much of the counselor’s time! This is almost ironic, but it shows how big a toll the time-pressure problem has taken on our client’s own sense of dignity and self-worth. If one of the big problems is time-pressure, then it will be difficult to work healing under time-pressure.

The client’s time is important

The Integrative Counseling program therefore allows ample time for each counseling visit. I do not restrain these visits to the typical length of a counseling session, which varies from 45 to 60 minutes. I have found, that in most cases  after the initial 50 minutes, the client is beginning to let go of pressure and open up to deeper levels of self. A momentum has been built up, that takes time - but it can take us deeper.  One cannot begin a session in this mode, it has to be developed.

I have found, that continuing for another hour, or an hour and a half or more, often enables us to accomplish amazing breakthroughs, healing, relief and/or renewed hope of a sorts one might not expect in the very first visit. By making ample time available for the client, a message is carried to him, that his time and needs are the important factors, whereas allowing only brief sessions may tend to communicate, that the doctor’s time and needs are the important ones. This makes a significant difference. Experiencing his or her own worth in this way is very therapeutic and conducive for healing at deeper levels.

Can I talk that long ?

2-3 hours may seem a long time for someone new to this approach who may wonder, “What am I going to talk about for that long ?” However, once the clients feels listened to with genuine empathy and acceptance, they will start talking and sharing and often be surprised themselves to discover how much they have to share. I have no doubt that the need for this kind of experience in counseling is prevalent. Where in our culture can a person go and have someone else give him or her their full caring attention for 2-3 hours ? The extended counseling session is for many people their very first experience with this.

Isn’t such long sessions exhausting ?

The answer is No. The more the client is allowed to share his or her authentic issues - and extended sessions tend to go deeper into them - the more energizing the session will be for  both client and counselor. I have found again and again, that once the hearts begin to open in the counseling session, time comes to a “stop”, and one can go on and on totally focused on what truly matters. After a while both client and counselor will “know” when the session is coming to an end and needs to be closed. There always seems to be energy enough to go on until a resolution, some relief or renewed hope has been found. Beyond this point many clients will suddenly experience a certain kind of tiredness. But it is usually not the feeling of “exhaustion”. It is more like a good tiredness, that brings the client to a much needed restful place of truly “letting go”.

I believe this way of doing counseling is cost-effective. More time is spent in the beginning, yes, and it is more money up front.  But clients may be able to achieve positive results more quickly.

By taking our time, we save time - and isn’t that what it is all about, when we endeavor to bring relief to suffering souls ?

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